It hurts knowing I've been trying so hard to fit. To belong. To do my best.
But it is never going to be good enough.
I am never going to be good enough.
I am always wrong no matter what.
I disappoint myself.
Thursday, August 11
Tuesday, March 29
Monday, March 28
Pain
We are parents now.
We are parents of a little angel, who is with the Lord now.
Our little Claire was born last November. We already knew she was not ok. She underwent a surgery after her birth, but her lungs were just too weak.
And she left us two days after bringing her light to life.
It feels like a life. I have always known she was coming, my Claire Bear. So tiny and pretty...
It is just so hard go through the everydays... Thinking about her every moment. So many IFs...
The pain will never go away.
#She could also hear# The Head and The Heart – Gone
We are parents of a little angel, who is with the Lord now.
Our little Claire was born last November. We already knew she was not ok. She underwent a surgery after her birth, but her lungs were just too weak.
And she left us two days after bringing her light to life.
It feels like a life. I have always known she was coming, my Claire Bear. So tiny and pretty...
It is just so hard go through the everydays... Thinking about her every moment. So many IFs...
The pain will never go away.
#She could also hear# The Head and The Heart – Gone
Friday, November 14
Sweet Thursday
It has been almost a year since I got married, and many things happened. Thursday was no exception.
Above all, I let my driving for growth on my career run wide. I let it own me. Yes, it was a way to forget the outside world, the problems and desappointments (and heart breakings).
When I met my D., I was again planning on going abroad (again and again), with job, housing and everything already set. I did not quite understand that young man affirming that I was going nowhere. He was so convinced I was to stay exactly where we were.
Time passed, and we found ourselves in love with each other, soon starting with a relationship. We got married, and we have been happily married since then.
Yesterday, I got a call from a restaurant owner. She wanted me to move back to where once I lived, and work at the restaurant. I was so excited, that, for a few minutes, I felt the old rush through my veins. That feeling of adventure, and the unknown knocking on my door. I even thought of going, if the job was to stay weekdays, so I could come home on the weekends.
However, the first minutes passed, and the idea sank in.
Wake up in a different bed, not seeing D. there. Going to bed without him. Not having him to laugh with me, nor hug me when I need, nor I hug him when he need me.
How could I live this way? I remember our vows on the wedding day, and this... Adventure... Did not fit.
So, not even looking behind me, I chose the right. And I am blessed for doing so.
Cheers.
#She could also hear# The Head and The Heart – Cats and Dogs
Above all, I let my driving for growth on my career run wide. I let it own me. Yes, it was a way to forget the outside world, the problems and desappointments (and heart breakings).
When I met my D., I was again planning on going abroad (again and again), with job, housing and everything already set. I did not quite understand that young man affirming that I was going nowhere. He was so convinced I was to stay exactly where we were.
Time passed, and we found ourselves in love with each other, soon starting with a relationship. We got married, and we have been happily married since then.
Yesterday, I got a call from a restaurant owner. She wanted me to move back to where once I lived, and work at the restaurant. I was so excited, that, for a few minutes, I felt the old rush through my veins. That feeling of adventure, and the unknown knocking on my door. I even thought of going, if the job was to stay weekdays, so I could come home on the weekends.
However, the first minutes passed, and the idea sank in.
Wake up in a different bed, not seeing D. there. Going to bed without him. Not having him to laugh with me, nor hug me when I need, nor I hug him when he need me.
How could I live this way? I remember our vows on the wedding day, and this... Adventure... Did not fit.
So, not even looking behind me, I chose the right. And I am blessed for doing so.
Cheers.
#She could also hear# The Head and The Heart – Cats and Dogs
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